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Man-2-Man Defense: Adjusting to having your second child

man2manFor my wife and I, having our second child was a big adjustment for our family as a whole. While we learned a ton with raising our first child, the trick to having our second child was finding the time and having the energy to implement what we learned. The key was trying to find a rhythm and make time for each other.

Here are some of the things that we experienced and were able to make work for us:

  • Adjusting – Remember that as big an adjustment it is for Mom and Dad it is also an adjustment for the first child. This can be trying at first as the first child is used to all your undivided attention. Try to divide your time as equally as you can amongst your children.
  • Repeat – Do what you did with your first child, especially the pictures. You probably don’t need to take as many as you did with your first, but it is important to take the pictures – this allowed us to make a scrap book every 6 months for the kids, and now that they are older they do it with us.
  • Time Management - Everyone’s time is at a premium, but making sure you and your significant other gets downtime is important and if your spouse is a stay at home mom, make sure you are helping out with the day-to-day chores.
  • Plan ahead – with one child, especially an infant, you can pack up and go pretty quickly. With 2 small children it takes time to do most everyday things because of all the things you need.
  • Plan dates  - too often I would come home and try to do everything with everyone. Get a sitter and go out with your significant other. Take your kids out individually, you really get to see the personalities develop by doing this and it is fun.

That is the most important point, to have fun. The first child to the second is a big adjustment, but a wonderful one as well.

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